Best Friend
I've decided I need a gay best friend. I have 3 straight best friends that I have been friends with since elementary school, and they are awesome, don't get me wrong. But, they all now live in Austin, and honestly, I think it would be nice to have a gay best friend too. I've never had one, but I think it would be fun.Yes, I have my boyfriend. But, sometimes it is nice to have someone outside of the relationship to talk to, have fun with, confide in, etc. And, honestly, I have some good gay friends here too, but I feel like they haven't crossed into the best friend category, and for whatever reason, I don't see it happening with them. Not that it wouldn't be fun, but I think the whole "friend group" mentality prevents that in some way.
So, I'm taking applications. It'd probably be best if you live in Houston too...
posted by Brady @ 7:18 AM
8 Comments:
Brady, I'm in the same boat, most of my "best" friends are heteros and most of my gay friends are more in the "get together once in a while", acquaintence category, go figure. Strangely enough, one of my best friends is a bit of a redneck, ok, a lot of a redneck, but what a great challenging friendship it is. I have a husband who in many ways is my best friend and I am his. There is nobody outside of our relationship who even comes close to the level of friendship that the two of us share in addition to our relationship. To date in my life, I just have not met that many gay people who I have become close to. I have found most do not enjoy talking about rights issues or politics, which I enjoy immensely, or share in my outdoorsy/environmentalist kind of mentality. Would you believe also that a lot of gay people I know do are not aware of the religious right debacle against gays in your country? I'm sure those people are out there, I just haven't met them yet. We gays are just as diverse as the rest of society and just because two people are gay, does not mean that they will mesh or have anything at all in common. True friendship also takes years of ups and downs to develop and is based on going through tough times and being willing to be totally honest without taking offence. But it would be great to have a fellow gay brother as a best friend.
I'll be your best friend. We can be will and grace except...we're both gay! xD
But...uh sorry I live very far away in the midwest.
Sorry, dude - I live in Indiana. I do enjoy reading your blog, though.
BC- I agree completely, especially about the husband part. I have gay friends that I get along with very well, but none that I have really become extremely close with, other than my bf.
Elizabeth and Agius. Thanks! Now if only you guys could move to Houston!
Agius- also, welcome. I don't think I've seen you comment before...
Can I apply? :)
Shorty, there may be a conflict of interest there. This is supposed to be someone at least partially removed from my bf ;-)
Brady,
To me, this is something we all have to be careful of when we are in significant relationships. I'm assuming your relationship with your boyfriend is like a marriage so if I'm off base there just let me know...I know you will :) and I sense we "trust" one another enough to do that for one another.
ANYWAY...it's just that we have to be careful that our partners remain our ultimate best friends and that any other friendship does not in any way usurp what we share with them. It's probably much easier for you to do this than someone like me (have other "best" sort of friends) just because of the sheer time factor. For us, though, by the time we take care of our family and other responsibilities, neither of us have the time to be as close to other people as we might like. We practically fall asleep maintaining the friendship we have with each other each night by the time the day is over. Just be careful that you honor your boyfriend by keeping that relaionship first above all others if it's one you intend to make last.
Grace- thanks for the comment. Don't worry, I definitely don't intend to find a friendship to replace his. He is by far my best friend and always will be. After 6.5 years (not long to some I'm sure, but considering I'm only 26, it is quite a while for us), we have done well together.
However, like most couples, we have lots of things in common, and lots of things not in common. Right now we end up doing the things that we have in common together, but sometimes we let our not-in-common activities fall to the wayside. I think finding a friend outside of the relationship to watch sports with, hang out with, talk to, would be healthy.
That being said, I definitely appreciate your advice, so much so that I am already aware of it being important.
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