I Like Being Gay
I've got a lot on my mind right now, and I have two posts that I want to write soon, but I don't have time right this second. Hopefully I'll get around to them soon.For now, though, I want to write about a realization I came to this weekend.
I wrote a post a while back (and it got printed later as a letter to the editor in The Advocate) about how I used to hate being gay. A while back, I would have given anything to not be gay. At some point, though, I stopped hating it and came to piece with it. But, even during that time, I always considered being gay was something I needed to live with and deal with. I didn't hate it, and I'd say I was content with it, but that's as far as I'd go.
But, somehow I came to a conclusion recently that I actually like being gay.
I'm sure this is going to sound absurd to some people (especially some of my non-gay readers), but it's true. Yes, my life is going well right now. I have a good job, a wonderful boyfriend (husband--I need to get used to that), great friends and hopefully a bright future. But, I've had all of that for a while, so my happy life isn't what led me to this realization. Even with all of this, there was always this thought in the back of my mind that if I was straight life would be easier, family would be prouder, future would be brighter.
This weekend, for some reason, I realized how myopic those thoughts were, and all of the sudden it came to me.
I don't just like my life, but I actually specifically like being gay and the qualities that it has brought me. I realized that for me, being gay has been more than just being attracted to guys. As I've slowly come out over the years, I've found myself to be more tolerant than I used to be, more easy going, more open-minded, and really more caring than I once was. I've grown to be more empathetic and more understanding of others, and most importantly, more confident and laid back. I'm not as worried about what people think of me, and as I've grown, I realize that even most virulently anti-gay folks are anti-gay out of fear, misunderstanding, or even heart-felt concern rather than hate. I'm able to see people more for who they are and where they are coming from than for what they are saying.
Yes, you could say that this is all part of growing up or growing older, but I really feel like some of these qualities have come about specifically because I'm gay. I have no qualms about hugging my best friends (male or female) and kissing them goodbye. I don't have a shield around me like I see with many straight guys. I'm basically happy now with who I am, and that means a whole lot.
So that's basically it. It's the very long way of saying that these days, if someone came to me with a magic pill and said I could take it and go back in time and be straight from day 1 (or even from today), I wouldn't take it.
I like being gay. It makes me unique, gives me perspective, and it just makes me who I am. This may not sound like such a revelation to some of you, but to me, it's huge.
posted by Brady @ 7:28 AM
20 Comments:
This is a great post, Brady, and I'm so happy for you.
And it doesn't sound weird at all to my straight girl ears. In fact, I think there are a lot of women, myself included, who could write a very similar post about being content because of who you are, rather than in spite of it.
What a beautiful post.
I enjoyed reading this post. Thank you -- you really made my day. You're a lovely and loving person.
Thanks to all 3 of you. That really means a lot...
brady,
this was so touching - it made me cry.
I am 75% there with you.
Thanks Rusty ;-)
This was a great post Brady. I've never read the blog before, but I'll be a consistent reader now. As a 26 year old who is still in the slow process of coming out (only to family and a couple friends), I'm not exactly a stand-up guy about my sexuality. But recently a friend asked "don't you wish that you had been born straight?" and I honestly said "no." The feeling that goes with that is amazing.
Hey JD. Thanks for commenting and welcome! It's a pretty amazing revelation, isn't it? Good luck on the coming out. All I can say is that I've gone from completely in the closet (even from myself) to completely out (and always coming out to people since most people don't guess I'm gay), and my only regret is how long it took me to come out all along.
Brady, I couldn't be prouder! And your happiness shows. It makes me so happy to see my children happy and content with life! I love you!
Mom
I randomly found your blog. One thing I've found since I really started coming out (6 years ago?), is that I don't wake up "gay" or anything like that. I wake up human. Me being gay is a minor detail compared to my philosophies on life, my passions, etc. I don't think being gay and wanting to embrace how you feel is as damning as people think. I'm sure I'd have the same issues if I was straight. In a world full of doubt, it was nice to read that there are some people who are claiming their lives for themselves.
Hi Brady,
This is the first post I've read, but it has actually inspired me! I'm 18, and have been trying to hide being gay to myself for soo long... I'm just starting to sort of accept myself, and I hope that someday I'll be where you are right now!
Michael- Glad you found the blog and especially happy that the post inspired you. I'm not going to say that accepting yourself and coming out is the easiest thing in the world, but it could possibly be the best...it was for me at least. Best of luck (and stick around now that you found yourself here!).
Hey Brady,
I'm 18 and live in the South. I come from a very conservative family, military, and pastors. I like sports and am masculine, no one has any idea that I'm gay, unfortunately. I play football and swim, and you'd think that because of being around other masculine straight guys aaaalll the time, I would want to closet myself. But, I owe myself more than that, I know that I deserve to be in whatever relationship I choose despite what society says. Frankly, society can be wrong, and is wrong in this case. Even though I'm not out yet, I will definitely be out by the time I'm out of my house in a few years. And although I love my family, if they believe that I should compromise myself for their beliefs, well I don't really know what I would say. I'm a bit prideful, and I honestly don't think I could take being looked down upon by my family. But at the same time, I try to look at it through their perspectives, they were born and raised in an ignorant place, and they themselves haven't had the opportunity to educate themselves like I've had. And that's something that being gay has given me, perspective, rationale, and empathy. I look at it as I'm special, and I have the opportunity to live through a whole other set of experiences that most of the world can't. I look at it as I'm special, I was born that way, and it would be selfish not to try to help others going through the same ordeal. I am lucky, I just coped very well with being gay!
Being gay is against nature. You should seek medical help to correct what is wrong with you at the genetic level.
this is a great post!!! being gay isnt the easiest thing... but once you accept yourself and start loving yourself because of it well... its an amazing feeling!!! when you are yourself and love yourself people love you because of that... took a long time for myself to understand that... keep bloging Mr.!!
thank you for sharing.....love the optimism
(funny - this is my first blog as well but i have the feeling i'll become a regular :-)
This comment has been removed by the author.
I don't know who you are but I stumbled across this post and your blog after a Google search about being gay. I'm a 16-year-old bisexual male and I haven't yet stepped out of the closet, but statements like this certainly inspire me to get closer. Thank you!
I love being a gay man. Just love it.
Being gay is perfectly with nature in every way. Homosexuality exists in animals too, it's not a choice, people are born with it. Choosing to hide it or not is up to them. Being gay myself I kinda know this from experience.
Post a Comment
<< Home