Monday, November 05, 2007

Saying Goodbye

I found out on Thursday that it was time to move the stuff out of my stepbrother's house so we could give the house back to the bank. My stepbrother, Jason, had recently accomplished his dream of buying a house, and it really was a perfect place for him. Huge yard, pool, deck, even an outdoor cabana. He loved to throw parties, and in the 6 months he had the house, he threw plenty of them.

Unfortunately, since he had just bought the house back in April, there is absolutely no equity in it. So, the options were to keep it, which none of us can afford to do, or let the bank foreclose on it, which is the route we're taking.

So, Sunday morning I woke up and made what will most likely be the last 20-minute drive I ever make over there. The trip there was the first time I've been extremely emotional since a week or so right after he died. For a few minutes I contemplated turning around and not going. I wasn't sure I could handle it. But I decided against it, turned up the music in my car, and kept driving.

Once I got to the house, work took over sadness, which was a good thing. It was a beautiful day, and 10 of my stepbrothers closest friends (all of whom would claim to have been his best friend) were there to help move. It's pretty amazing to think that these 10 guys would take time out of their daily lives to help my family move Jason's stuff out of his house. They surely didn't have to do it. They have their own families, lives, even football games to watch, but they were there anyway.

We had the 3 bedroom house moved out and put into storage in right about 4 hours. Sweaty and smelly, I changed shirts and went to the mall to shop. I went alone and must not have spoken to anyone for several hours. I was in that kind of a mood.

I got home at right around 6 after picking up some dinner. It should have been 7 if daylight savings time hadn't ended, and it felt like it was midnight. Too much manual labor mixed with emotions running high and an empty house. Parker (my new puppy) and I curled up in bed together minutes after I got home, and we both slept straight through until this morning.

Most days haven't been so bad since Jason died. Yesterday wasn't one of them.


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