A Letter From My GrandmotherI got a letter earlier this week from my grandmother--the one that just found out both that I am gay and that I'm getting married. I'm not sure what happened to the letter, but what should have been a one to two day trip in the mail turned into two long weeks, and when it finally got to me there was a big chunk missing from the letter and the envelope.
But, through all of its turmoil, the letter still arrived. My grandmother is a devout Southern Baptist from a small town, and I was very worried about what she would think of my being gay. In fact, I waited to tell her more because I didn't want her to worry about my salvation than anything else. Grandmothers just shouldn't have to worry about that kind of stuff.
Well, it turns out she was worried about me--has been for years she said. But, not so much because I was gay--more because she could just sense something had been wrong in my life.
Here's what the letter said:
"The first thing I want to say is that I love you very much...Your dad told me your 'news' just before he left this weekend. I'm sure you would like to know how everyone responded. All agreed that we love you and hope you will always feel welcome to be with us....There was more, but those are the parts that really got to me. It was probably one of the nicest letters I have ever read. Honestly, I should've known. In a phone call I had with my grandmother after I read the letter, she even asked about my boyfriend and his family.
Brady, I'm so very sorry you did not feel comfortable about sharing your feelings with me and your family. You must have been so unhappy for several years. I just wish I could have been there for you. Please always know I love you and God loves you - feel free to visit me anytime."
Don't get me wrong--several of my cousins/aunts and uncles won't be attending our ceremony because of their feelings about being gay, and my grandmother said she is unsure, but she would do whatever I wanted. So, it's not all perfect, but it sure is better than I what I imagined might happen.
So, that's the big news this week. Here's to wonderful grandmothers...