I'm Coming Out (again) and Some Other StuffI mentioned in another post that I still have some coming out to do with some of my extended family for my Big Fat Gay Wedding. So, I emailed one of my cousins last week to see if she wanted to have lunch/dinner soon. The purpose of this lunch (in addition to just catching up) is for me to tell her I'm gay. Now that she has written back and is ready to have lunch, I'm freaking out--all jittery and nervous. I'm actually shaking right now. I thought I was over all of this stupidness (well really I didn't, but I thought I was handling it better than this). This coming out thing really never ends. I hate it.
On a related note, a friend of mine told me the other night that he would rather be hideously ugly and straight than cute and gay (he's a pretty good looking guy, and he's just starting to deal with being gay). I tried to console him and relate how much better my life is now than I thought it could be when I was first dealing with being gay. (It really is. My life is going better than I imagined it would this early on, and while my being gay doesn't have anything to do with that, my coming out has helped me personally and emotionally for sure).
But, judging from my reaction to my cousin, who am I to talk? I still have trouble dealing with coming out to my family, and sometimes even perfect strangers. Not all of us have an easy time being gay, that is for sure. Then again, my mom told me how proud of me she was yesterday for standing up what I believe in and being honest with myself, so it's not all bad.
On a separate issue--I added some links to my sidebar. I plan on sorting them and categorizing them soon too. If you aren't linked and want to be, send me a comment or an email.