If I Could Only Be StraightIf I haven't said it here before, I'd like to make it clear that I am not romantically or sexually attracted to females at all, and I never have been. I never dated girls when I was in high school (and I still feel like I missed out on all of that), not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't even fake an attraction to one, not in the slightest.
I've found that I'm different from most of my friends though. While most of them have very, very little attraction to females, they admit to either currently or at one time being able to be aroused by females under the right circumstances. It's not that they are bisexual, but they can at least fake it if they had to (I know that's a crude way to say that, but you get my point).
So, I was telling a friend of mine about my complete lack of attraction to females recently, and I mentioned that for a long period in my life, I was certain that if there was any attraction at all to girls, no matter how small, I would have held on to that and probably not come out of the closet. I have to admit that while I am completely happy now, and I love my boyfriend immensely, the idea occasionally crosses my mind. Life just seems like it'd be just a little bit easier.
Honestly, I love who I am. I love my friends, my boyfriend, and my life, but it's the little things (like planning a wedding and still being afraid to tell some people in my family about it) that get me all worked up.
So, to sum up this longer-than-anticipated post, when I told my friend that if I could have been straight (even just a little straight) I probably would have been, he answered by saying that God probably knew that, so he just didn't give me the option. Interesting to think about.