Monday, April 03, 2006

How Do You Define Ex-Gay?

I'm going to start this post completely off topic. I went to the gym on Saturday and then played a few hours of volleyball on Sunday, and I am way way way too sore today. This is going to be a long day. Lesson learned. This going to the gym stuff is not fun.

Anyway, on to the post.

To me, the term "ex-gay" implies that someone is no longer attracted to the same sex, just as gay means someone is attracted to the same sex. I know people that are attracted to the same sex but are in the closet and/or do not do anything romatincally with the same sex. But, they're still gay.

Apparently, though, some ex-gay people believe that the very fact that you do not engage in gay relationships means you're ex-gay, even if you are still attracted to the same sex. It's these kind of semantics that confuse the public. Trust me when I say that people like my dad believe that all of these ex-gays here hears about are now living as complete heterosexuals, and he expects that all gay people can do that too.

Via Pam's House Blend, recently ex-gay Tim Wilkins admitted to still being attracted to the same sex. I'm glad he's being honest, but I also wish he'd be that honest more often.

And, given his admission, is ex-gay the right word to describe him? If not, what is?


At 3/4/06 10:22 AM, Anonymous Shorty said...

Can Michael Jackson be described as ex-Black? He doesn't look Black anymore...

At 4/4/06 9:25 AM, Blogger Brady said...

Shorty, doesn't he call himself black still?

Jokes aside, its a good point.

At 5/4/06 2:24 PM, Anonymous Angie said...

Hellooooo.... I linked to you from a comment you made over at willful grace's blog!

This is an excellent post! Even though I'm on "the other side" (yikes!) in that I see homosexuality as a sin... It still just doesn't work for me to hear "ex-gay." I think it's a BAD marketing strategy that's gonna come back to bite 'em!

I see overcoming unwanted same-sex-attractions the same way I see overcoming any unwanted part of life (anything from overcoming an addiction to porn to trying to lose weight - both of which I've battled!) It's a journey... a process... It's transformation and renewing of the mind to be like Jesus.

God is more than capable to just take attractions away... He could take away my lust completely and he could take away my desire to overeat. But it's that humbling struggle that keeps me dependent on God! Most people I've discussed this with think that the attraction, the lust, the whatever thorn-in-the-flesh is will remain, but in a capacity that diminishes the more God takes His rightful place in those areas. We're all working to overcome something...

Eeek... sorry! For a newcomer to your blog I probably took too much liberty with my comment! But I just appreciate so much you calling people out on things that don't ring true. I'm with you man!


At 6/4/06 7:45 AM, Blogger Brady said...

Hi Angie. Welcome and thanks for the compliment! Don't worry about taking too much liberty here, I' happy to have it.

I'm not sure what a new term to use would be instead of ex-gay. But surely there is something that would be more appropriate or accurate. Struggling maybe?


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