There's No Such Thing as an Ex-Alcoholic, Right?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but one of the teachings of AA is that alcoholism is for life. Once an alcholoic, always an alcoholic, even if you no longer drink.So, is an ex-gay still gay, even if he no longer drinks--I mean dates the same sex?
Food for thought.
posted by Brady @ 3:32 PM
6 Comments:
I think he/she is.
And I'm okay with that. I wish some other people on my side of the issue were as well..and willing to be more open about it.
Good point, my friend. :)
grace
Thanks Grace!
Don't get me wrong, I realize how loaded the term "gay" is, especially for people that do not want gay attractions or to be in a gay relationship, but at the same time, the attraction is still there (in most cases, at least).
Hi, I'm Christine. I'm an alcoholic.
Yes, I took my last drink 12 years ago...and...I'm still an alcoholic. If I took one drink now I know I would drink just to get drunk and I don't know where I'd end up.
I see the point you're making about "ex-"gays just being like dry drunks (an alcoholic who doesn't drink)...meaning that they aren't any more "ex" gay than I'm an "ex" alcoholic.
On the other hand, I'm not sure that alcoholism can be fairly compared to a sexual and relational orientation, although many (even in Exodus) try to do just that.
Hi Christine,
Thanks for the post. Congrats too on the sobriety.
You're right, it's not a good comparison. It makes me so mad when anti-gay folks try to compare alcoholism with being gay. I can't believe I just stumbled my way into that little trap!
I am a gay alcoholic-in-recovery. Rcovering from the alcoholism, not being gay. I will always be an alcoholic whether I drink or not. I think like an alcoholic and recovery teaches me how to change my behaviour. There is nothing I need to recover about being gay. I'm gay and I accept it. Always have. I enjoy it because I accept it.
In toeing the AA line, alcoholism is a disease, of the mind, body and spirit. Being gay is what God made me. Why would I presume to know better than He and try to change his handiwork?
Brady, I'm coming late to the party on this topic of alcoholism and homosexuality, having followed a link to your site from somewhere. Anyway, I'm glad I found it. (Congratulations on the wedding, too. That is very cool.)
I've been wrestling with this question since February, actually. I came out to a former pastor and his wife. For a while, I was helping him as an every other week "lay preacher" at a former church, and we walked some long and dark roads together. I knew that his son had been gay, and had destroyed his life with a stroke related to a crystal overdose, so I didn't expect him to be all that supportive of my being gay.
He was more supportive than I thought - but hit me with this idea about my being gay and my being alcoholic being similar situations. (I got sober 15 years ago - but couldn't bring myself to come out until the last two years.) I hadn't been able to find the time or the desire to put words to my feelings on this topic until I read this post.
My extended discussion about this is over here, if you're interested.
Thanks for giving me the kick to get this out.
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