Update to Post Below
Here's a quick update about my last post. I called my mom to vent about my step-mom telling my step-brother that she and my dad would not be attending the wedding. (Oh, my twin brother also mentioned to me that the only thing my step-mom told him was that she thought "this type of thing" was illegal in the state of Texas). So, my mom could tell I was worked up, and she offered to call my dad to try to talk things out a bit.Note to self- letting mom talk to dad when they are divorced is usually not going to go over well, especially regarding something like this.
My mom called me a little while later to say that I should probably give my dad some space. When I asked why she went through the conversation. It went something like this:
Mom: Well, I was just talking to your son, and he is pretty upset right now.
Dad: Which one? Why is he upset?
Mom: Brady. Apparently [Your wife] told his step-brother that you guys would not be going to the wedding.
Dad: (Already angry--in a raised voice) Well then he shouldn't be gay.
Mom: What? Did you really just say that? This is not some choice he made. I can't believe you are making him go through all of this all over again.
Dad: (More raised voice) I know he can't change, but he certainly doesn't have to have weddings and parties to celebrate it.
Mom: Look here you little a--hole. He is your son and you are making his life so much more difficult than it has to be. And if you're going continue to be a f---ing a--hole with your b---- wife, then he's better off not speaking to you anyway, and I'll tell him that (hangs up phone).
Now, I'm not going to say that my mom is always calm and collected about stuff, but she isn't the type of person that goes around cussing people out. I'm sad that she got into the middle of this and got all upset about it. I'd rather deal with it and take the blows myself, but I had no idea it would get out of hand like that. I told my boyfriend that maybe it was good for my dad to hear some of my anger (even if it is through my mom) because I certainly won't ever let it out. I'm way too low-key for that, but now someone has to go clean up the mess.
posted by Brady @ 2:53 PM
6 Comments:
I see alot of hope in this...for real. For one thing, your dad is of the opinion that you cannot change. Hey...I may not agree with that statement...but...it's at least in your camp, right??? Look on the bright side of that. :) (you know i love ya)
So....if he at least believes you are "born gay" and cannot change your attractions...then...it seems to me that he can certainly change his mind about your rights to be celebratory in the happiness you've found within your orientation/marriage/etc. I think this is a glimmer of hope for you.
Hang in there! You are in my prayers.
love you!
grace
Thanks, Grace, I appreciate it. I think there is hope in all of this. He actually called last night to ask if I want to go to lunch on Thursday, so that's a good step.
Hey Brady...
I can't say I've got insight or ideas apart from current experience that is somewhat of an inverse to yours -- my son is graduating from high school a few states away, and I've been specifically not invited.
Just want you to know I'm thinking about you as navigate steps that feel treacherous and/or frustrating.
Steve- I really appreciate your thoughts and support, and I'm sorry to hear about your son. I can only imagine how rough that must be...
Good luck on this Thursday chat with your dad (if you're going to do it that is...you didn't actually say). I hope it goes well.
Whatever happens don't let it spoil your day. What you and your boyfriend have together is a wonderful thing. Protect and cherish it.
Hi Bruce, Thanks so much for the support! I am going to have the chat with my dad tomorrow. I'll do my best to not let it get me down. You're right, my life is so much better than it was before I met my boyfriend, even with having to deal with all of this.
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