Monday, May 15, 2006

They Say They Aren't Coming

Well, my boyfriend and I told my ten year old sister about our wedding this weekend. It was very uneventful. I think she knows what I was trying to tell her, but it was a hard conversation for me because I didn't know what to expect. No tears, no real emotion either way. She did give my boyfriend a big hug when we left this weekend, though. I'll keep you guys updated as to how that is all going if it comes up again.

I'm also going to dinner with one of my cousins today after work to break the gay news to her. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm pretty nervous, especially because she is on my dad's side of the family.

And the big news... My dad and my step-mom got an invitation to our shower over the weekend. I think the word "wedding" might have freaked them out. I called twice yesterday to wish a happy Mother's Day to my step-mom, but she didn't answer either time. She did answer the phone when my three brothers called, though. She told my step-brother they weren't going to be attending the wedding. He tried to play it off by reminding me in a funny impersonation of my step-mom's voice that they had said they wouldn't ever invite my boyfriend and me to their house either, but that held up for all of about 3 months, so there is certainly hope. I'm also very glad I have all of my siblings in my corner on this one.

I have to call them to talk all of this through, but honestly I don't have the energy to do it right now. I know it will get better, but I can't continue to have to deal with these ups and downs in my emotions every so often. When I get down or sad I sleep. And those people that know me know more sleep is not something I need (I don't get very restful sleep and end up sleeping way more than the average person because I am constantly tired. My twin brother is the same way). But sleeping helps me get over my sadness, so it works.

I will admit that I am doing much better with the news right now than I was when I first came out. At least I know there's some hope, but at the same time, it just reiterates to me how differently I am going to be treated my whole life.

Here we go again, I guess. I'll update all of this once I get the guts to call them.


At 15/5/06 5:56 PM, Blogger grace said...

The fact that your siblings are cool with awesome...and that will go a long way toward healing the rifts with the rest of the family. I know this from experience. My sister has been my advocate and champion (even if she doesn't agree with me) and helped restore relationship with out mom. Believe me, I understand and sympathize with you in this...our situations are not that far removed. The "H" word brings out the worst in people no matter which side of the coin you fall on regarding it. So sad, isn't it?
love ya! I'll respond to your next post seperately.

At 15/5/06 5:57 PM, Blogger grace said...

i meant "with our mom" not "with out mom"
duh. i think and type so gets befuddled sometimes! :)

At 16/5/06 11:23 AM, Blogger Brady said...

Grace, you are right on both counts. Telling my cousin went well. She's in your "camp" on the issue. She doesn't think it's in God's plan, but she said her relationship with me is more important to her than any one issue. How well-stated. She went on to empathize with what I was going through, so all in all a good talk.


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