Ex-Gays, Do They Exist?The answer to this question, obviously, is of course they do. Getting down to what actually constitutes an ex-gay person and a gay person gets a little more hairy, though. Is an ex-gay person just a gay person that now chooses not to act on his/her same sex attractions? Is an ex-gay person now feeling attractions to both men and women but only acting on one of them? Or, is an ex-gay person now no longer attracted to the same sex and only attracted to the opposite sex?
I guess the answer depends on who you ask. Lots of moderately well-known ex-gays will fully admit that being ex-gay is a struggle that may never end. Others claim that they no longer feel any attractions to the same sex.
In the end, the consensus for most fully enlightened people that have actually been through the struggle of being gay or ex-gay is that whatever the definition is, this really is a struggle that won't happen overnight for the huge majority of people. This school counselordoesn't seem to get that though when he says, "There is a middle ground, where children who need support and protection from harassment can receive it, while Christian children are also protected form false teaching about orientation issues. But some children and their parents need to hear a message of hope that orientation is indeed changeable, and that there is help for them if they wish to change."
To me, this kind of statement is really dangerous. It makes uninformed parents that don't want a gay child think that change is out there and the solution to all of their cures. Do some people change? Probably? Do all? No. Telling people that sexuality is indeed changeable without any type of caveat mentioning that many people do not change or at least mentioning how long and hard of a struggle it is is really dangerous to me.
This is the problem I often have with a lot of straight conservatives. The answer is always too simple for them. Don't want to be gay- change! Want to marry- change and marry a woman! Don't want to sin- change! Most that I have talked to never have really sat down and listened to the whole story. Besides listening to the Exodus leaders of the world who will tell them how change is out there, have they ever talked to a gay person that has tried for years and decades to change but has not? Have they ever talked to someone like me that prayed every night for this all to go away? To someone that spent his teenage years trying to hide and avoid his deepest secret. That has now grown up to decide change hasn't worked, so maybe acceptance isn't all that bad. For so many, it's all about this "evil" group of gays. This lump of gays that are trying to indoctrinate our kids. Who cares if they are individuals with their own struggles and stories? After all, why listen to them, they are trying to recruit our kids!